AMERICAN WALTHAM POCKET WATCHES

Yes, I do have a new addiction, and that addiction is Dexter! I cannot stop watching this show! I was considering going out to a Bosnian party tonight, and I really did want to go. My friend Hasnija invited me. I adore Hasnija, and I have so much fun hanging out with her...but I was feeling tired and like socializing would just be too much of a drain. Hasnija has no understanding of my social discomforts. She's more the type who never meets a stranger, and lives on going out and interacting with groups of people. It seems like she knows everyone. But for me, an evening out meeting people...it takes a lot out of me. Lately I don't feel like I have a lot in me to be taken, at least not when it comes to that. So, I stayed home tonight and spent time with someone who's often at least as antisocial as I am, Dexter. I started, I think just last week, watching the season one episodes available on the Showtime On Demand channel. They have all three previous seasons on there. I'm pretty happy about that because this show is SO phenomenal! I can't believe I haven't been watching it! It's absolutely amazing! This is my newest delicious show addiction... It's not just a casual thing, like Heroes almost always is for me, but instead joyful consumption, that delicious escape and delight and need to constantly know more... I was thinking that I might be missing that feeling for a while with no new True Blood episodes until next Spring or Summer. I'm glad to find I was wrong. I've been so addicted to this show that I've been watching three to four (or more) episodes each night! My whole family is that addicted to it as well -- my mother, my brother, even my dad now. My aunt in Texas is starting to watch it too. I've been very surprised by what this series is -- it's suspenseful, thought-provoking, funny, even touching.

Also, I must admit that I identify with Dexter quite a bit... No, I don't kill people and chop them up into bits. But his feeling of "otherness" and of having to fake being a normal human being, feeling that he's just an observer looking in from the outside, his loneliness...I really relate to those aspects of his character. His worldview doesn't fit with those around him, and so he has to fake it in order to survive in the world.

"People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well. That's my burden, I guess."

Ok, so I don't feel like I fake them ALL...but then, I don't think Dexter's character really fakes them all either. I suppose, with me, I just feel like I have to fake a hell of a lot more of them than most people. Also there was a time in my past, for quite a while, when I worried that I didn't really feel anything...something else I have in common with Dexter. Although now, I fear at times that I feel entirely too much. Though I suppose that other side is still there, it's just no longer dominant. My other Gemini side is more like Dexter's sister, Deb...who feels too much (or she thinks she feels too much) and tries to constantly hide it.

"My sister puts up a front so the world won't see how vulnerable she is. Me, I put up a front so the world won't see how vulnerable I'm not."

It's weird to say that I relate to both of these characters pretty deeply, but I do. I'm a very contradictory person. I guess that's two reasons I love this show right there! I'm constantly hiding how vulnerable I am, and how vulnerable I'm not...how much I understand, and how much I don't, how much I don't care, and how much I do...

Anyway, I'm absolutely delighted by this series. I love the characters, the plot keeps me on the edge of my seat, and the unexpected humor has been a great surprise too. I've read that it's at least partially based on some novels, which are now definitely going on my to read list as soon as I locate the titles.

I'm still stuck on collages. I'm trying to do each of them a bit differently though. These are shots I took while watching the intro sequences on the show, as well as the "previously on Dexter" clip for the first episode of the second season.

"I dream. I dream I'm floating on the surface of my own life. Watching it unfold. Observing it. I'm the outsider looking in..."

"Everyone hides who they are at least some of the time. Sometimes you bury that part of yourself so deeply you have to be reminded it's even there at all. And sometimes you just want to forget who you are altogether... I'm not the monster he wants me to be, so I'm neither man nor beast. I'm something new entirely... I'm Dexter. Boo."

<3

September 26, 2009

I'm just realizing how long my day was. Gawsh!

I woke up at 8:30, threw on a bathing suit, and went to Katrina's. We all agreed to be ready and leave by 9. But NO... Katrina and Julie were not ready. Me and Felicia were. We didn't wind up leaving the house until around 10:30, and we had to stop by Walmart. Somehow we wound up being in Walmart for like an hour and when we walked outside it was all cloudy and ish. And I had to go to work at 3, so it didn't leave us too much time so we just went home.

I worked from 3 to 5. (So sick of these two hour shifts, I need hours and I need money. Bwalls!)

I came home and started watching season 4 of Dexter online. I just finished episode 3 and I can tell this season is going to be my favorite. Anilda stopped by for a little while. Then I got bored and decided to clean my closet (while listening to Cleaning Out My Closet by Eminem, naturally). It's clean now. AND I FOUND MY SHANIA TWAIN PERFUME! HALLELUJAH! I missed her.

Today wasn't bad.

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